6 Ideas for Decorating a Loved One’s Grave
Losing someone you love is never easy, and the process of grieving is different for everyone. One way to feel connected to your loved one is by visiting their gravesite. To acknowledge how much they mean to you, you may want to leave a token of your visit or decorate their grave. Decorating a loved one’s grave can help process your grief and bring you comfort.
Grave decoration ideas
If you need ideas for decorating a gravesite with the care and respect your loved one deserves, we have inspiration. Just keep in mind that not all cemeteries will allow every type of decoration listed below. Always consult cemetery staff for guidance before placing decorations.
1. Flowers
Like funeral flowers, gravesite flowers are a beautiful way to express love and devotion to the one who has passed.
Some flowers inherently symbolize certain ideas, including:
- Blue irises: faith and hope.
- Calla lilies: holiness, purity and faith.
- Forget-me-nots: remembrance.
- Gladioli: integrity, strength and honor.
- Marigolds: grief and remembrance; often linked to the holiday Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead).
- White or yellow mums: grief and remembrance; popular in Chinese culture.
- Zinnias: goodness and friendship.
It's always a good idea to place your hand-tied bouquet in a cemetery-approved vase.
If you can't get to the cemetery yourself, Cemetery Flowers offers convenient plans to place flowers for you. You can order a single placement or sign up to have handmade bouquets of silk-blend flowers placed on a loved one's grave at scheduled intervals, so you never have to worry about missing a special occasion or not complying with cemetery regulations.
2. Memorial stones
Memorial stones may be placed on a grave as a way of remembering your loved one. A gravestone or monument usually includes a name, date of birth, date of death and perhaps a short phrase. A memorial stone is smaller and brings a personalized element to the gravesite with a Bible verse, term of endearment or etched quote, such as “A light remains where a beautiful soul has passed.” The etched stone is lovingly placed on nearby grass or atop the gravestone for all to read.
3. Coins
Leaving coins to decorate a grave is a historical tradition. Originally, coins were left as a symbolic bribe to safeguard the journey to the afterlife. As time passed, the tradition transformed. Today, placing coins on military graves in particular signifies a heartfelt gesture and a way for fellow soldiers to pay their respects to the fallen and honor their memory.
Different coins may signify different connections to the loved one:
- Penny: shows respect for their service.
- Nickel: signals shared boot camp memories.
- Dime: signifies service together.
- Quarter: represents someone from the final moments of a loved one’s life.
Beyond military service, placing coins on a headstone shows enduring admiration and respect for a loved one. It signifies that the departed continues to be cherished and held in high regard. This practice reflects a universal gesture of appreciation for all individuals who have left a lasting impact.
4. Flags
Mini stick flags are a nice touch at a loved one's grave. U.S. flags are common for veterans, especially around Memorial Day, Fourth of July and Veterans Day. Mini flags representing different countries, schools, religions, cultures or affiliations are also a way to honor the deceased's background or beliefs.
5. Rocks and pebbles
The tradition of leaving rocks and pebbles at a grave, particularly in the Jewish faith, has transformed over time. Initially used to protect fresh graves from animals, it now symbolizes respect and the presence of a visitor. River stones, beach pebbles, crystals or worry stones are often left to honor a loved one.
6. Photographs
Photographs, securely framed or protected, make warm and heartfelt grave decorations. Wedding snapshots, vacation mementos and pictures from happy times preserve cherished memories. Some cemeteries may not allow framed photos to be displayed loosely on a grave, so if you love the idea of a photograph, consider a grave marker that includes a spot for a photograph.
Not all decorations are allowed
It’s important to know that some grave decorations usually aren't permitted. Always consult the cemetery staff for guidance.
Many cemeteries do not permit:
- Fencing or borders placed by families.
- Glass, including ornaments, candles, jars and vases.
- Decorations that require a stake in the ground, including a shepherd's hook.
- Stuffed animals or other toys.
- Free-standing decorations or containers.
- Large flags or banners.
- Wind chimes.
- Bird feeders.
How often to replace decorations
Cemeteries remove wilted flowers and gravesite decorations periodically to keep the grounds looking neat. The frequency of removal depends on the individual cemetery's policies. Most cemeteries hold regular cleanup days when all items placed at graves are gathered and temporarily held for families to retrieve before the cemetery staff discards them.
As for keepsake items like coins and decorative stones, cemetery cleanup staff may leave them at a gravesite, as long as they are in good condition. Items prone to weather-related damage may be removed by the grounds crew more frequently. Cleanup days may occur every month or less frequently. A member of the cemetery staff can tell you about the cemetery’s removal schedule. It's often posted on the cemetery website as well.
A meaningful memorial
Grave decorations serve as heartfelt tributes to the cherished departed. For those who choose to decorate the gravesite of a special person, it’s often a cathartic way to keep their loved one’s memory alive and offer respect.
To create a meaningful tribute, remember to check with the cemetery’s maintenance staff or management team to ensure they permit the decorations you have in mind. Doing so helps ensure a lasting and beautiful memorial.